After weeks of trying to find me a bed in a unit that can NG feed me, one has finally been found. On Wednesday I will be admitted for the second time. The unit is along way from home, I was hoping for somewhere nearer and I will be sad to leave this unit. I… Continue reading Another new beginning
Today has been a better day. After feeling pretty lifeless all week, this morning I felt a bit stronger. I’ve been almost house-bound all week, so I decided to use my new-found energy to spend the afternoon out with my sister visiting Hobbycraft. Last weekend my mum took me there but I felt so weak… Continue reading Stickers!
I am weaker with each day that passes. This is tiredness like I have never known. Overwhelming exhaustion. I can barely move. I just want to close my eyes. Stay in bed. And then there is the pain. I am so sore. Constantly shifting. Cannot get comfortable. Ribs against elbows. Bum against chair. An aching… Continue reading This is today
I am on edge. Each time the phone rings I jump. Is this it? Is this the phone call I’ve been waiting for? The call will come. It could be today, tomorrow, next week… longer? Who knows. I don’t know when it will be. And I don’t know where I will be going. It will… Continue reading Today, tomorrow, next week… longer?
My chest feels heavy. Invisible elastic is tight around my ribs, aching with each breath. I stand up and feel weak. My head sways, my vision blurs. I have no energy. I get up, dressed, go downstairs and collapse onto the sofa, exhausted before the day has begun. I am cold. So cold. I huddle… Continue reading I never want to feel like this again
It’s a precise routine. I carefully pour my milk into the little measuring jug, ready for breakfast. I add a few drops to my tea and return the bottle to the fridge. After a few failed attempts at trying semi-skimmed milk, I am back to the safe skimmed variety. But this morning something is wrong.… Continue reading Suspicious Minds
I pace endlessly around the house. From my bedroom, along the landing, down the stairs, through the hallway, round the kitchen, into the living room, back to the kitchen, the hallway, the stairs… up, down, back and forth… I am supposed to be on complete bed rest. My BMI is dangerously low and my weight… Continue reading Waiting