I held it together until my support worker left. And then it was just me and my mum. I wanted to cry. No tears would come. Instead I shouted. I could hear the frustration, the anger, the pain in my voice. “Everyone is having a go at me. You’re all saying I’m not trying. You… Continue reading Comforting me like a child
It’s two months since I wrote this: Four months on the sofa Today I read back over that post to see how things have changed over the last two months. Two months ago my mum had just returned to work, but I was at the start of a downward spiral which I am still unable… Continue reading Six months on the sofa
Today has been a better day. After feeling pretty lifeless all week, this morning I felt a bit stronger. I’ve been almost house-bound all week, so I decided to use my new-found energy to spend the afternoon out with my sister visiting Hobbycraft. Last weekend my mum took me there but I felt so weak… Continue reading Stickers!
I am weaker with each day that passes. This is tiredness like I have never known. Overwhelming exhaustion. I can barely move. I just want to close my eyes. Stay in bed. And then there is the pain. I am so sore. Constantly shifting. Cannot get comfortable. Ribs against elbows. Bum against chair. An aching… Continue reading This is today
Relief. I collapse back onto the sofa, clutching the hot water bottle to my chest. The warmth is soothing. I have taken off my coat and jeans, and replaced them with an oversized hoody and soft trackie bottoms tucked into thick fluffy socks. I am so comfortable. I wrap a blanket round my shoulders, and… Continue reading Anorexic Cocoon
I am on edge. Each time the phone rings I jump. Is this it? Is this the phone call I’ve been waiting for? The call will come. It could be today, tomorrow, next week… longer? Who knows. I don’t know when it will be. And I don’t know where I will be going. It will… Continue reading Today, tomorrow, next week… longer?
“You look much more unwell than last time I saw you. Just by looking at you I can tell you have lost weight, you look weaker. I know you’ve tried hard, and that trying is not wasted. But you mustn’t give up now. You could be waiting weeks for a bed, and your body cannot… Continue reading Admission Advice