A year ago I was sectioned in hospital with a tube up my nose. I could no longer look after myself. I was terrified I was about to die. I could not eat. I could not drink. I felt so scared and alone. I was in hospital hundreds of miles from home. How much things… Continue reading I’ve come a long way in the past year
After years of very strict restricting, I am slowly re-introducing myself to food. Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend and ate a burger and fries, followed by a chocolate brownie sundae! I am continuing to amaze myself at what I can do. I feel like I am being re-introduced to the concept of food. … Continue reading Anorexia and being re-introduced to food
I was at home on my own this morning and I resisted the urge to go out and buy binge food which I have taken to doing every time I am home alone. Just got to keep going through the rest of the day now.
Still going strong. I have just got home from seeing friends, so now the hard bit is going to be getting through the next few hours. I need to find a distraction to keep myself occupied until dinner.
I’m craving binge food. I’m craving food. It’s taking everything in my power to stay at home and not walk out to buy chocolate to binge on. I’ve tried to eat a little bit more, to curb the binge urges, but the urge is still there, strong as ever. Minute by minute I’m congratulating myself… Continue reading Day 2: Minute by minute
…and I didn’t binge! Success. I am still battling through minute by minute, and I have succeeded mainly by reminding myself that I just have to get through today. As though I’m giving myself permission to binge tomorrow. But I will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. One day at a time.
I’m struggling through each minute at the moment. I just want to binge. I don’t know why I feel like this? After years of restriction and starving myself, suddenly I want to be eating every minute of the day. It seems so illogical. I am used to starvation, to feeling hungry, to not eating, to… Continue reading Another attempt: Day 1 – The day is not over yet
Yesterday was day 1. I didn’t binge. I didn’t go to the shop and buy the binge food that I had bought every day for the previous six days. Instead I went for a day out with my mum. We went to the Ideal Home Exhibition in London. It hadn’t occurred to me that there… Continue reading Bingeing Accountability: Day 1
This last week has been full of achievements! I have eaten snack out with a member of staff I have been allowed to have group snack out with the other patients and staff I have eaten a whole plate of rice, a food that a few weeks ago I could not touch at all without… Continue reading Progress
I haven’t posted in a while as I am finding focusing on recovery enough to cope with at the moment! But I have good news! Things are finally getting better! I have turned a corner, I am finding eating less scary, I am less anxious about gaining weight, I am feeling physically and mentally stronger.… Continue reading It’s been a while…