I did it again. First it was one. This time it was two. Two biscuits casually slipped into my pocket. Why? Because I feel like I’m eating too much. Because I felt guilty about the cupcake I had for snack earlier. Because I’m gaining weight so fast I can’t deal with it. Because I enjoy… Continue reading And again
I’m pretty sure I can get away with it. I look around. No-one is watching me. Casually I place my hand over the biscuit, slide it up into my palm and quickly thrust it into my pocket. Gone. The quiet chatter in the dining room continues. No-one has noticed this monumental happening in their midst. … Continue reading Old habits die hard
There are only two places I can be totally honest: my journal and this blog. So here is the honest version of what happened today. Today I was supposed to eat snack out on my own. I was out all afternoon and I should have bought myself a snack. But I didn’t. I just walked… Continue reading I lied today
This last week has been full of achievements! I have eaten snack out with a member of staff I have been allowed to have group snack out with the other patients and staff I have eaten a whole plate of rice, a food that a few weeks ago I could not touch at all without… Continue reading Progress
I’m going to whisper it. Listen closely. I’m sorry. “I did eat the hot cross bun. But I skipped lunch to make up for it.” I had the audacity to make it seem like a success. Maybe I wanted to believe it was a success. But it wasn’t. I’m sorry. I took my lunch to my… Continue reading Three Hot Cross Buns & Two Lots of Lies
My favourite thing about lent is the sudden explosion of hot cross buns onto shelves up and down the nation. They are everywhere; in packets at the supermarkets, piled high on bakery shelves, behind glass counters at cafes… Grilled and served warm, with butter melting gently into the soft bread, and accompanied by a cup of tea.… Continue reading One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns!
I think I mention often enough on this blog that sleep is something I have struggled with over the past few months. Severe anxiety at night made falling asleep virtually impossible. So convinced was I that I would die during the night that I refused to allow myself to drift off to sleep. However, what… Continue reading Sleep, glorious sleep