A year ago I was sectioned in hospital with a tube up my nose. I could no longer look after myself. I was terrified I was about to die. I could not eat. I could not drink. I felt so scared and alone. I was in hospital hundreds of miles from home. How much things… Continue reading I’ve come a long way in the past year
After years of very strict restricting, I am slowly re-introducing myself to food. Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend and ate a burger and fries, followed by a chocolate brownie sundae! I am continuing to amaze myself at what I can do. I feel like I am being re-introduced to the concept of food. … Continue reading Anorexia and being re-introduced to food
For the second day in a row I have eaten no more than I planned. I feel more in control now, the binging urges have calmed. I have followed my meal plan, I feel good. This evening I am going out for a burger with my boyfriend. I am a bit stressed about it, as… Continue reading Still going well
I was at home on my own this morning and I resisted the urge to go out and buy binge food which I have taken to doing every time I am home alone. Just got to keep going through the rest of the day now.
Still going strong. I have just got home from seeing friends, so now the hard bit is going to be getting through the next few hours. I need to find a distraction to keep myself occupied until dinner.
Ok, so here we go again, Day 1. But this day 1 will be different, I am determined. I will not binge today. I will not restrict either. But I will not binge. I am so frustrated at the moment. Everyone keeps telling me that once I am properly following my meal plan and not… Continue reading I am determined this time!
Miserable bingey end to the day. I am close to suicidal again.
I miss curling up in anorexia’s warm embrace. I miss the comfort of anorexia’s routine. I miss surviving on so few calories. I miss being proud of myself for losing weight. I miss being able to lose weight so easily. I miss weighing myself daily and seeing those numbers fall. Oh anorexia, I miss you. … Continue reading I miss the comfort of anorexia
I am running, watching the numbers, they tick upwards, the calories burning up. I keep running, keep watching, keep burning. Last night I went out for a Valentine’s meal with my new boyfriend. I ate too much. I binged during the day and ate a huge meal in the evening. I can’t cope with it. … Continue reading The gym
My meal tonight was the same as it is most nights – veggie sausage and veg. My family had Saturday night pizza and chips. I was so jealous. I used to love pizza. But I didn’t have any. I hate anorexia. It takes the joy of food away from me. I can’t enjoy pizza anymore. … Continue reading My family ate pizza