Monday mornings (aka weigh day) are always challenging in an inpatient ED unit. Today has been particularly stressful. It was difficult to cope with my weight this morning, and then I was expected to go into the dining room and eat breakfast. I feel like I took a step back as I didn’t finish it,… Continue reading I need to learn Russian
This blog is all about asking the big questions. But seriously, why are there so many different types of pasta? I’ve been here before. Standing in a supermarket aisle, panicking. What am I supposed to pick? Why is there so much choice? I just want some pasta. But I am overwhelmed by the choice. Pasta… Continue reading Why are there so many different types of pasta?
I feel very alone at the moment. I am so wrapped up in my own problems I don’t have the energy to think about other people much. I haven’t spoken to my friends from ‘the outside world’ for a long time. I don’t want them to see me. I want to be left alone. And… Continue reading Hospital is a lonely place
(Following on from First weekend leave:preview) So, how did it go? I’ll be honest, I didn’t manage everything on my meal plan. I skipped bits here and there. I hid a few biscuits. I didn’t eat dessert. I had smaller snacks. I did more exercise than I should have. And yet, I have gained a… Continue reading First weekend leave: review
Tomorrow I am going home for the weekend. My first weekend at home since I was admitted to hospital at the beginning of May. How do I feel about it? I am excited. I am nervous. I am not sure how I am going to manage my meal plan. Already I am thinking about how… Continue reading First weekend leave: preview
I did it again. First it was one. This time it was two. Two biscuits casually slipped into my pocket. Why? Because I feel like I’m eating too much. Because I felt guilty about the cupcake I had for snack earlier. Because I’m gaining weight so fast I can’t deal with it. Because I enjoy… Continue reading And again
I’m pretty sure I can get away with it. I look around. No-one is watching me. Casually I place my hand over the biscuit, slide it up into my palm and quickly thrust it into my pocket. Gone. The quiet chatter in the dining room continues. No-one has noticed this monumental happening in their midst. … Continue reading Old habits die hard