I can’t believe I’ve made it to twelve days without binging. And all that time I have been restricting too. I feel like anorexia is taking hold of me again, and the sad thing is I’m making no effort to stop it. I want it back. I hated the shame of binging every day. I… Continue reading Day 12
For the second day in a row I have eaten no more than I planned. I feel more in control now, the binging urges have calmed. I have followed my meal plan, I feel good. This evening I am going out for a burger with my boyfriend. I am a bit stressed about it, as… Continue reading Still going well
In 3 weeks time I am going on holiday. There is going to be a pool. I love swimming but am already dreading the thought of wearing a swimming costume. Everyone will be able to see how fat I have become through my weeks of binging. I am determined to stop now so that I… Continue reading New week, new start
Still going strong. I have just got home from seeing friends, so now the hard bit is going to be getting through the next few hours. I need to find a distraction to keep myself occupied until dinner.
Ok, so here we go again, Day 1. But this day 1 will be different, I am determined. I will not binge today. I will not restrict either. But I will not binge. I am so frustrated at the moment. Everyone keeps telling me that once I am properly following my meal plan and not… Continue reading I am determined this time!
I don’t even have the words to describe how angry I am at myself. I want to die.
Miserable bingey end to the day. I am close to suicidal again.
I’m craving binge food. I’m craving food. It’s taking everything in my power to stay at home and not walk out to buy chocolate to binge on. I’ve tried to eat a little bit more, to curb the binge urges, but the urge is still there, strong as ever. Minute by minute I’m congratulating myself… Continue reading Day 2: Minute by minute
…and I didn’t binge! Success. I am still battling through minute by minute, and I have succeeded mainly by reminding myself that I just have to get through today. As though I’m giving myself permission to binge tomorrow. But I will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. One day at a time.
I’m struggling through each minute at the moment. I just want to binge. I don’t know why I feel like this? After years of restriction and starving myself, suddenly I want to be eating every minute of the day. It seems so illogical. I am used to starvation, to feeling hungry, to not eating, to… Continue reading Another attempt: Day 1 – The day is not over yet