I weighed myself this morning. I’m not supposed to. Once a week, that is all I’m allowed. But who can cope with that? I need to know my weight. Every day. So I weighed myself this morning. My weight is the same as yesterday. It’s killing me. Why haven’t I lost? Did I eat too… Continue reading Monday morning thoughts
This weekend I am at home again for the last time before discharge on Tuesday. I have come to the end of a 7 month hospital stay. How do I feel about coming home for good? Nervous. Scared. I don’t know if I can do it. Life just seems to be a conveyor belt of… Continue reading Anorexia and I fight for survival
I can hear voices, whispering behind me, nasty, vindictive voices. Is that normal? Sometimes they tell me not to eat, that I’ve eaten too much. “You’re so greedy!” they hiss, “You are going to put on so much weight. Fat. Fat. Fat.” Other times they ignore what I am eating and just focus on insulting… Continue reading Hearing Voices
Monday mornings (aka weigh day) are always challenging in an inpatient ED unit. Today has been particularly stressful. It was difficult to cope with my weight this morning, and then I was expected to go into the dining room and eat breakfast. I feel like I took a step back as I didn’t finish it,… Continue reading I need to learn Russian
Chicken Risotto 