I miss curling up in anorexia’s warm embrace. I miss the comfort of anorexia’s routine. I miss surviving on so few calories. I miss being proud of myself for losing weight. I miss being able to lose weight so easily. I miss weighing myself daily and seeing those numbers fall. Oh anorexia, I miss you. … Continue reading I miss the comfort of anorexia
The idea that I might never recover from my mental illnesses is the hardest thing for me to get my head around. What if this is it? What if this is just how my brain is? Broken. What if I will never be well enough to have a job, a family, a house…. all the… Continue reading Keeping hope alive in the depths of mental illness
I must return. The city of my illness. The fight of my life. That city is a prison, that city is a cell. Time ticking, life ebbing, rain pounding, in a city I don’t want to go, haunted by a ghost I don’t want to know. Past-me still stalks that city’s streets, Sinking in secrets… Continue reading The city of my illness
Finally an inpatient bed has become available for me. Out of all the potential places the bed could be, there was one I was dreading. One I really didn’t want to go to. One in a city that I used to live in, that I first became ill in, that I have bad memories of. … Continue reading There is a bed reserved for me
Chicken Risotto 