This post contains description of lying about weight – if this may trigger you please click away! So, this week was week two of me being in charge of monitoring my weight. I told my therapist I weighed a kilo more than I actually do. I hated telling her that. Not because I hated lying… Continue reading Weighty Lies
So, this week’s update… I am being discharged from the eating disorder service. Considering how much I am struggling to eat, my meal plan long abandoned and am losing weigh once again, this seems as strange step. But my psychiatrist thinks I have borderline personality disorder and is referring me to the team that deals… Continue reading Mental health services are bizarre
I miss curling up in anorexia’s warm embrace. I miss the comfort of anorexia’s routine. I miss surviving on so few calories. I miss being proud of myself for losing weight. I miss being able to lose weight so easily. I miss weighing myself daily and seeing those numbers fall. Oh anorexia, I miss you. … Continue reading I miss the comfort of anorexia
This weekend I am at home again for the last time before discharge on Tuesday. I have come to the end of a 7 month hospital stay. How do I feel about coming home for good? Nervous. Scared. I don’t know if I can do it. Life just seems to be a conveyor belt of… Continue reading Anorexia and I fight for survival
I pace endlessly around the house. From my bedroom, along the landing, down the stairs, through the hallway, round the kitchen, into the living room, back to the kitchen, the hallway, the stairs… up, down, back and forth… I am supposed to be on complete bed rest. My BMI is dangerously low and my weight… Continue reading Waiting
Two weeks. I’ve got two weeks to start to turn things around or I will be admitted to an inpatient unit. I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what I think. I want to keep fighting at home. I don’t want to leave my family. I don’t want to be hundreds of miles… Continue reading Two week ultimatum
Deep breaths. Stay calm. Dialling tone. “Hello, Eating Disorders Service. How can I help?” Deep breaths. Stay calm. “Would it be possible to speak to Dr. Nolan please?” More deep breaths. Still staying calm. “He’s in clinic at the moment, I can get him to call you back.” “Ok, thank you.” The waiting begins.… Continue reading The watched phone never rings
This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The focus this year is on the importance of early intervention and diagnosis. When I first became unwell, I was fortunate enough to have a GP who immediately referred me to the eating disorder service, and I was able to access treatment very quickly. To highlight the importance […]
This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The focus this year is on the importance of early intervention and diagnosis. When I first became unwell, I was fortunate enough to have a GP who immediately referred me to the eating disorder service, and I was able to access treatment very quickly. To highlight the importance […]
This week is Eating Disorders Awareness Week. The focus this year is on the importance of early intervention and diagnosis. When I first became unwell, I was fortunate enough to have a GP who immediately referred me to the eating disorder service, and I was able to access treatment very quickly. To highlight the importance […]
Chicken Risotto 