I’ve got two weeks to start to turn things around or I will be admitted to an inpatient unit.
I don’t know what to write.
I don’t know what I think.
I want to keep fighting at home. I don’t want to leave my family. I don’t want to be hundreds of miles away, stuck in hospital, with no independence.
But maybe I have fought at home long enough. Maybe it is time to try something different.
I don’t know.
I don’t have the energy to decide.
“Which is worse, drinking two Ensure shakes a day, or going into hospital?” My mum asked.
I don’t want to go into hospital. It’s a scary prospect. But I don’t know if I can up my calories enough to avoid it. My mind is busy devising more and more devious ways to avoid taking in any more calories and I feel powerless to stop it.