Community Support & Outpatient Therapy · Living with anorexia · Treatment

Two week ultimatum

Two weeks.

I’ve got two weeks to start to turn things around or I will be admitted to an inpatient unit.

I don’t know what to write.

I don’t know what I think.

I want to keep fighting at home.  I don’t want to leave my family.  I don’t want to be hundreds of miles away, stuck in hospital, with no independence.

But maybe I have fought at home long enough.  Maybe it is time to try something different.

I don’t know.

I don’t have the energy to decide.

“Which is worse, drinking two Ensure shakes a day, or going into hospital?” My mum asked.

I shrugged.

I don’t want to go into hospital.  It’s a scary prospect.  But I don’t know if I can up my calories enough to avoid it.  My mind is busy devising more and more devious ways to avoid taking in any more calories and I feel powerless to stop it.

Two weeks.


16 thoughts on “Two week ultimatum

  1. Two weeks is a long time for anorexia to comprehend. Take every day as a new one, and hopefully all 14 together will be an achievement. Two weeks is a long time, but 14 little steps (with maybe a couple of wobbly moments) is better than a wobbly two weeks. Good luck – it’s tough, especially given a deadline. But let the strength of your friends and family surround your thoughts, instead of the strength of anorexia. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hello. I’m in that exact same position. I have a bed waiting for me. But I can drink the 3 milkshakes a day and a porridge. No. I’ve failed even to pick my prescription up. We will get there. 2 weeks gives you time
    To show them you can do this. And I’m here to other support. Together we will stay out of hospital and beat this. We can. We can try at least. That’s all we can do


  3. What would be the realities of going to hospital? If it would help, then maybe it is the place for you right now, but you will have to go through this bit anyway when you get home, it won’t solve everything, but might help you build up your armour so you’re better placed to address things? Might help also to make a list of why you don’t want to be in hospital, being away from people, lack of freedom etc. Maybe you could reframe it that you are eating to get you towards those things rather than eating to stay out of hospital? Do these ramblings make any sense? Whatever happens, I’m sending good wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Chicken Risotto, I know the ultimatum is about going to the hospital or not, but I need you to take a step back here. What your carers are saying is that, if you go on like this for another two weeks, you will be so sick you cannot be at home anymore. Going on like this for another two weeks will cause so much damage to your body and mind that you will be in immediate danger. In a way, yes or no going into hospital should not be your main concern. Even if you do manage to make changes in the next two weeks, the hospital may still be the best place for you. You need to realise that in the next two weeks you can prevent severe damage from happening, regardless of what will happen afterwards. Sending my love, Ana

    Liked by 1 person

  5. sorry you are so ill – sorry for your Mum and family they must be so bewildered and distraught – I will pray for you

    you are in a very dark pit right now but it isn’t too late to turn to Jesus – let Him shine a light and cleanse you of Ana who is slowly killing you – or rather Ana is persuading you to kill yourself by starvation

    I know all your atheist followers will ridicule me for this but I advise you to say the Lords Prayer and to directly ask Jesus for help

    you MUST fight back


  6. I know you can’t comprehend this right now but when I was admitted it was almost a relief for the control to be taken away from me. Yes, I fought and complained and carried on, but I knew I needed food or I would die. I honestly didn’t care if I died (anorexic depression) but I “remembered” wanting to live, and really didn’t want my dad to go through all that. It would destroy him. Everyone says we need to go into recovery for ourselves, not for other people, but I couldn’t do it for myself initially. I still have a hard time. Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I’ll recover just till my dad passes away, but who knows, maybe I’ll want to stay in recovery after that. Anorexia is so exhausting. I can actually do things right now. I am learning the guitar. That is becoming a motivator… one step at a time. Food first, reasons later…. (hugs)


  7. Praying you find the strength to love yourself one bite at a time. My body eventually gave me an ultimatum so the choice was no longer mine. I’m not sure which is tougher, being given the choice or having the choice made for us. Either way I’m rooting for you. ❤


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