Miserable bingey end to the day. I am close to suicidal again. Advertisements
I’m craving binge food. I’m craving food. It’s taking everything in my power to stay at home and not walk out to buy chocolate to binge on. I’ve tried to eat a little bit more, to curb the binge urges, but the urge is still there, strong as ever. Minute by minute I’m congratulating myself… Continue reading Day 2: Minute by minute
…and I didn’t binge! Success. I am still battling through minute by minute, and I have succeeded mainly by reminding myself that I just have to get through today. As though I’m giving myself permission to binge tomorrow. But I will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. One day at a time.
I’m struggling through each minute at the moment. I just want to binge. I don’t know why I feel like this? After years of restriction and starving myself, suddenly I want to be eating every minute of the day. It seems so illogical. I am used to starvation, to feeling hungry, to not eating, to… Continue reading Another attempt: Day 1 – The day is not over yet
Yesterday was day 1. I didn’t binge. I didn’t go to the shop and buy the binge food that I had bought every day for the previous six days. Instead I went for a day out with my mum. We went to the Ideal Home Exhibition in London. It hadn’t occurred to me that there… Continue reading Bingeing Accountability: Day 1
I did it again this morning. I ate so much. I didn’t even want to eat it, I was glad when it was over. I have decided I need some sort of accountability to stop me. So I am going to post every day for the next few weeks. I am going to be honest… Continue reading Binged again
I want to write today about how ashamed I feel. Bingeing has always been a part of my eating disorder but I have never written about it before. When I first started restricting I binged maybe once a week, or once every fortnight. Then as I got worse, the restricting increased and the bingeing stopped.… Continue reading The shame of bingeing