Today has been a better day. After feeling pretty lifeless all week, this morning I felt a bit stronger. I’ve been almost house-bound all week, so I decided to use my new-found energy to spend the afternoon out with my sister visiting Hobbycraft. Last weekend my mum took me there but I felt so weak… Continue reading Stickers!
“You look much more unwell than last time I saw you. Just by looking at you I can tell you have lost weight, you look weaker. I know you’ve tried hard, and that trying is not wasted. But you mustn’t give up now. You could be waiting weeks for a bed, and your body cannot… Continue reading Admission Advice
My chest feels heavy. Invisible elastic is tight around my ribs, aching with each breath. I stand up and feel weak. My head sways, my vision blurs. I have no energy. I get up, dressed, go downstairs and collapse onto the sofa, exhausted before the day has begun. I am cold. So cold. I huddle… Continue reading I never want to feel like this again
I pace endlessly around the house. From my bedroom, along the landing, down the stairs, through the hallway, round the kitchen, into the living room, back to the kitchen, the hallway, the stairs… up, down, back and forth… I am supposed to be on complete bed rest. My BMI is dangerously low and my weight… Continue reading Waiting
Two weeks. I’ve got two weeks to start to turn things around or I will be admitted to an inpatient unit. I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what I think. I want to keep fighting at home. I don’t want to leave my family. I don’t want to be hundreds of miles… Continue reading Two week ultimatum
I feel like such a let down. It’s Mothering Sunday (my mum always insists on calling it that, she says Mother’s Day is an American corruption…) and my family are eating a meal together. I know how much it would mean to my mum if I ate with them, but I cannot bring myself to. “Are you sure… Continue reading Mothering Sunday
My favourite thing about lent is the sudden explosion of hot cross buns onto shelves up and down the nation. They are everywhere; in packets at the supermarkets, piled high on bakery shelves, behind glass counters at cafes… Grilled and served warm, with butter melting gently into the soft bread, and accompanied by a cup of tea.… Continue reading One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns!