Today marks the start of my seventh week as an inpatient. There are some signs of improvement: my weight has increased a little bit, I am eating a tiny bit more, I am having more good days than before. But overall I haven’t made a lot of progress. I came in to the unit voluntarily,… Continue reading Another week has passed
Things aren’t going well. I am still not managing to eat everything on my meal plan. I am not gaining weight. They are looking to send me to another unit where I can be NG fed. Tomorrow I am having a mental capacity assessment as they think I need to be sectioned. I hoped things… Continue reading No improvement
Everything has finally be confirmed. On Monday morning I will be admitted to an inpatient unit. It is not in the city that I did not want to return to. I don’t know anything about this unit, but I am doing my best to go with a positive attitude. I really hope that this can… Continue reading Finally, a definite decision
I must return. The city of my illness. The fight of my life. That city is a prison, that city is a cell. Time ticking, life ebbing, rain pounding, in a city I don’t want to go, haunted by a ghost I don’t want to know. Past-me still stalks that city’s streets, Sinking in secrets… Continue reading The city of my illness
Today has been a better day. After feeling pretty lifeless all week, this morning I felt a bit stronger. I’ve been almost house-bound all week, so I decided to use my new-found energy to spend the afternoon out with my sister visiting Hobbycraft. Last weekend my mum took me there but I felt so weak… Continue reading Stickers!
“You look much more unwell than last time I saw you. Just by looking at you I can tell you have lost weight, you look weaker. I know you’ve tried hard, and that trying is not wasted. But you mustn’t give up now. You could be waiting weeks for a bed, and your body cannot… Continue reading Admission Advice
My chest feels heavy. Invisible elastic is tight around my ribs, aching with each breath. I stand up and feel weak. My head sways, my vision blurs. I have no energy. I get up, dressed, go downstairs and collapse onto the sofa, exhausted before the day has begun. I am cold. So cold. I huddle… Continue reading I never want to feel like this again