I feel very alone at the moment. I am so wrapped up in my own problems I don’t have the energy to think about other people much. I haven’t spoken to my friends from ‘the outside world’ for a long time. I don’t want them to see me. I want to be left alone. And… Continue reading Hospital is a lonely place
You know those texts you don’t want to send. The ones where you agonise over each word for hours, close your eyes, press send and then fling the phone across the room, vowing never to look at it again. Yeah. I sent one of those this morning. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was… Continue reading Invisibility hoody
Each time I eat, I face a choice. Do I please anorexia? Or do I please recovery? I look at my food and I wonder what to do. Eat it? Or not? Every day I battle against anorexia. I long to be able to eat the food I love. I admire it, I smell it,… Continue reading I cannot win
When I was growing up, Sunday was an important day for our family. We always sat together at lunchtime for a traditional roast dinner. My mum would be in the kitchen, chopping potatoes, peeling carrots, preparing the meat. I can remember the smell. The beautiful smell of roast potatoes and cooking chicken. The smell that filled the… Continue reading That Sunday feeling
I am very good at lying. I create elaborate stories. Believable excuses. Plausible explanations. You can question me. But I will have an answer. I will lie by omission. I will lie to your face. Small lies. Big lies. I don’t care. I will hide things. Manipulate. And cheat. There are no lenghts to which I… Continue reading I would make an excellent spy
Being ill has meant leaving my life behind. I’ve left my flat, my job, my friends. I’m back in my hometown. I haven’t lived here for six years. The friends I grew up with have left. Mental illness has caused me to lose friends before. My friends from university no longer speak to me. They… Continue reading Loneliness
Chicken Risotto 