This weekend I am at home again for the last time before discharge on Tuesday. I have come to the end of a 7 month hospital stay. How do I feel about coming home for good? Nervous. Scared. I don’t know if I can do it. Life just seems to be a conveyor belt of… Continue reading Anorexia and I fight for survival
Monday mornings (aka weigh day) are always challenging in an inpatient ED unit. Today has been particularly stressful. It was difficult to cope with my weight this morning, and then I was expected to go into the dining room and eat breakfast. I feel like I took a step back as I didn’t finish it,… Continue reading I need to learn Russian
This blog is all about asking the big questions. But seriously, why are there so many different types of pasta? I’ve been here before. Standing in a supermarket aisle, panicking. What am I supposed to pick? Why is there so much choice? I just want some pasta. But I am overwhelmed by the choice. Pasta… Continue reading Why are there so many different types of pasta?
I feel very alone at the moment. I am so wrapped up in my own problems I don’t have the energy to think about other people much. I haven’t spoken to my friends from ‘the outside world’ for a long time. I don’t want them to see me. I want to be left alone. And… Continue reading Hospital is a lonely place
(Following on from First weekend leave:preview) So, how did it go? I’ll be honest, I didn’t manage everything on my meal plan. I skipped bits here and there. I hid a few biscuits. I didn’t eat dessert. I had smaller snacks. I did more exercise than I should have. And yet, I have gained a… Continue reading First weekend leave: review
Tomorrow I am going home for the weekend. My first weekend at home since I was admitted to hospital at the beginning of May. How do I feel about it? I am excited. I am nervous. I am not sure how I am going to manage my meal plan. Already I am thinking about how… Continue reading First weekend leave: preview
I did it again. First it was one. This time it was two. Two biscuits casually slipped into my pocket. Why? Because I feel like I’m eating too much. Because I felt guilty about the cupcake I had for snack earlier. Because I’m gaining weight so fast I can’t deal with it. Because I enjoy… Continue reading And again