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Yesterday I was discharged from an eating disorder unit. Today I'm cooking chicken risotto…

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Bipolar Disorder · Living with anorexia · Mental health

Two and a bit years later

August 23, 2020 Chicken Risotto1 Comment

I haven’t posted for over two years. And what a few years it has been. I have spent 15 months sectioned in hospital, fed by NG tube, live through severe mania, suicidal depression and ECT. I am feeling better than I have in years. My weight is healthy. I’m slowly starting to re-build my life.… Continue reading Two and a bit years later

Living with anorexia

I’ve come a long way in the past year

June 9, 2018 Chicken Risotto1 Comment

A year ago I was sectioned in hospital with a tube up my nose.  I could no longer look after myself.  I was terrified I was about to die.  I could not eat.  I could not drink.  I felt so scared and alone.  I was in hospital hundreds of miles from home. How much things… Continue reading I’ve come a long way in the past year

Living with anorexia

Things are going well

May 30, 2018 Chicken Risotto3 Comments

Things are finally looking up.  I am slowly leaving anorexia behind.  For the last few days I have not wanted anorexia back, I have not longed for it the way I have in the past.  I am eating well. I am back in the pool, after two and a half years away, it is good… Continue reading Things are going well

Living with anorexia

Anorexia claimed a bit more of my life today

May 12, 2018 Chicken Risotto4 Comments

I broke up with my boyfriend.  We hadn’t been seeing each other very long but it was going along nicely.  But today I ended it with him.  It’s too much stress.  I am not well enough.  I can dress up and play the part every Saturday but it’s not the true me.  The true me… Continue reading Anorexia claimed a bit more of my life today

Bingeing Accountability

Day 12

May 10, 2018 Chicken Risotto1 Comment

I can’t believe I’ve made it to twelve days without binging.  And all that time I have been restricting too.  I feel like anorexia is taking hold of me again, and the sad thing is I’m making no effort to stop it.  I want it back.  I hated the shame of binging every day.  I… Continue reading Day 12

Living with anorexia

I want anorexia back

April 29, 2018 Chicken Risotto16 Comments

Sometimes I really miss ‘being anorexic’.  I was talking to my mum this afternoon, who attends an eating disorder carers support group. “But,” she said, “I don’t really feel I need to go anymore, your eating is not really a problem now.”  And in that moment I felt broken.  I wanted more than anything to… Continue reading I want anorexia back

Bipolar Disorder

A new diagnosis

April 23, 2018April 23, 2018 Chicken Risotto2 Comments

I am back, yet again, in my psychiatrist’s office.  It’s a small room, cluttered with comfy chairs.  My psychiatrist sits with his back to the window and I face it.  The sun would be saturating the room with light, but for the thin curtains pulled across the window, which instead gives the room a disconcerting… Continue reading A new diagnosis

Hope · Living with anorexia

Anorexia and being re-introduced to food

March 28, 2018 Chicken Risotto2 Comments

After years of very strict restricting, I am slowly re-introducing myself to food. Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend and ate a burger and fries, followed by a chocolate brownie sundae!  I am continuing to amaze myself at what I can do. I feel like I am being re-introduced to the concept of food. … Continue reading Anorexia and being re-introduced to food

Bingeing Accountability · Living with anorexia

Still going well

March 27, 2018 Chicken RisottoLeave a comment

For the second day in a row I have eaten no more than I planned.  I feel more in control now, the binging urges have calmed.  I have followed my meal plan, I feel good. This evening I am going out for a burger with my boyfriend.  I am a bit stressed about it, as… Continue reading Still going well

Bingeing Accountability · Living with anorexia

New week, new start

March 26, 2018 Chicken RisottoLeave a comment

In 3 weeks time I am going on holiday.  There is going to be a pool.  I love swimming but am already dreading the thought of wearing a swimming costume.  Everyone will be able to see how fat I have become through my weeks of binging.  I am determined to stop now so that I… Continue reading New week, new start

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