Inpatient · Living with anorexia

There is a bed reserved for me

Finally an inpatient bed has become available for me.

Out of all the potential places the bed could be, there was one I was dreading.  One I really didn’t want to go to.  One in a city that I used to live in, that I first became ill in, that I have bad memories of.  To return to that city would feel like a step backwards.  I had a flat there, a job, friends.  I left it all behind.  I left that period of my life behind.  I do not want to return to it.

Guess where the bed is.

I thought the news that a bed was available would feel positive, stepping forward into recovery.  But instead it feels like returning to a dark time of my life.

But if I turn it down, there is no way of knowing where or when the next offer will be.  I don’t know what to do.

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2 thoughts on “There is a bed reserved for me

  1. Beds are so scarce that I think if they are offering one you should take it. You have an illness, you need to be in hospital for your treatment, if this was a physical illness would you be so concerned? I get that this must be so so scary, but if you can recover in that city then maybe that puts you in a really good position for being recovered in other cities, like you’ll have done the hardest thing? Don’t let your illness bully you out of a bed and the treatment you need. X

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