Finally an inpatient bed has become available for me.
Out of all the potential places the bed could be, there was one I was dreading. One I really didn’t want to go to. One in a city that I used to live in, that I first became ill in, that I have bad memories of. To return to that city would feel like a step backwards. I had a flat there, a job, friends. I left it all behind. I left that period of my life behind. I do not want to return to it.
Guess where the bed is.
I thought the news that a bed was available would feel positive, stepping forward into recovery. But instead it feels like returning to a dark time of my life.
But if I turn it down, there is no way of knowing where or when the next offer will be. I don’t know what to do.