Inpatient · Treatment

More Uncertainty

After all the confusion and changes of plan about where I would be admitted, it finally got sorted, I arrived and begun to settle in. But I am really struggling with the meal plan, I am barely eating, most of my meals are just Fortisip supplements. My consultant has warned me that if things don’t change quickly then I will need to be NG fed. They don’t do that at this unit, so it would mean going through the stress and confusion all over again. I hope I can start to turn things around quick enough to avoid that, but given how much I am struggling, it’s not looking very likely.

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2 thoughts on “More Uncertainty

  1. I do hope that I never at all seem indifferent to your plight — to the mental illness that is still very much a gargantuan struggle. I wish there was a way to hack your mental illness to work against itself.

    Uncertainty can be stressful, but when your brain is malnourished its ability to cope with stress is also quite low. So every meal is as much about lowering the volume on anorexia and uncertainty not being quite so dreadful as it is getting physically well. This is quite a hill for you to get over, but from what I can surmise, most of the psychological treatment doesn’t happen until you’re physically well and your brain is in less of a fog. I very much hope you can work through your meal plan. Do know that you’re not weak if you must undergo the NG, though. You may not feel like it, but you are on your way to something healthier.

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  2. I absolutely hate uncertainty as well as feeling confused. Feeling confused puts me near panic mode. So many people in my program did supplements. They had meal planned snacks but on days they couldn’t manage it, they did supplements (some had to do 2 since a supplement was a part of their snack). I also would have but I’m lactose intolerant. We tested it to be sure and yep, still can’t have dairy. Once I discharged though they insisted on 2 protein drinks a day with 3 additional cups of spy milk or one protein drink and 5 cups of soy milks. Seriously?! So I opted for the 2 protein drinks. I have to be honest, I hate them more than anything but my nutritionist showed how bad my body comps are and the best thing to get them better is protein.

    As hard as it is to accept, your treatment team has your best wellbeing in mind. They want you to live and, beyond that, to live with a level of health.

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