Today is day 6 of my inpatient admission. It’s been a tough week. I feel battered and exhausted. It has been a continuous onslaught of fear foods. Chocolate brownie, treacle sponge, cake, potatoes, pastry… Tonight is rice which I am dreading. I have had panic attacks over the last two meals and now been prescribed Diazepam.
I lost weight between my weigh ins on Tuesday and Friday. I havent managed to complete my meals even though I am only on half portions. They tell me it is not much food but it feels like more food than I have ever eaten. ‘Portion distortion’ apparently. The dietitian has made a few changes to my meal plan to try and make it more manageable, but if things don’t start to improve soon then they will have to look at moving me to another unit for NG feeding. The threat of that is hanging over me, making me feel unsettled.