I need to stop losing weight now.
My ECG has showed ‘worrying changes’. I am on complete bed rest, not even allowed to walk around the house. I am under strict instructions to drink two supplement milkshakes a day. At the moment I can’t even manage one. But I don’t want to die. I’m so scared. I am so tired and weak.
There is still seven days until the inpatient bed is available for me.
I will keep battling.
I want to keep losing weight but I know I need to stop. I need to accept that this will be my lowest weight. I can’t go any lower. I have never consistently gained weight in all the time that I’ve been ill. The thought of it is terrifying. But I have no choice.
It’s life or death.
One milkshake for today done!
I will start the next one this afternoon.
I will not die.
Chicken Risotto 
Please, please remember your strength. My heart breaks as I read this. I don’t want another life to be lost to this horrible disorder. You are worth so much more. If you have a hard time believing that, hold on to the fact a stranger in the states (who knows you only by your blog) believes you are a life worth saving, and just maybe, she is right. xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thinking of you – seven days will hopefully come round quickly. I’m rooting for you, and for your health. Life is for living, not tolerating this awful illness, which I only appreciate after breaking free. Anorexia makes me so angry that it’s doing this to you xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you xx
LikeLike
Keep fighting xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can do this. You can. You have it in you to do it. You really do. Your stronger than you think!! Xx
LikeLike
Sending hugs x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two a day. If you know it’s a struggle, please don’t try to go it alone in drinking them. Make sure that someone else makes sure that it really is two a day. And do keep battling!
LikeLiked by 1 person