Hope · Living with anorexia

A little bit of self-care

Self-care seems to be a common theme in recovery from all kinds of mental illness and was something that was very much encouraged when I was at the day unit. I tried to continue treating myself well after I left, but as my recovery faltered, so did my ability to enjoy myself.  I can’t say that I have returned to recovery yet.  I am still very much in the depths of anorexia, fighting against everyone who is trying to help me.  I haven’t been following my meal plan, and I am still losing weight.

But, after starting anti-psychotic medication last week, I’ve had five nights of good sleep.  Despite the weight loss, I feel the best I’ve felt in a long time, mentally and physically.

I’ve decided to capitalise on this positivity, and treat myself, hoping to inspire a little bit of motivation for recovery.

  1. Books – I don’t have a huge amount of concentration, but I’m enjoying a chapter here and there of an Agatha Christie.  I’ve wanted to read some Agatha Christie for ages, so I’m making the most of having a lot unnamedof free time to get started!  I’ve bought myself a few other books so that I can keep myself interested despite low concentration.  I bought Ruby Wax’s ‘Frazzled’ and ‘Mad Girl’ by Bryony Gordon.  I haven’t made much of a start on either of them yet, but I will do!
  2. Drawing – I’m no artist.  But yesterday I treated myself  to a sketchbook and a tin of pencils.  I’ve had a relaxing morning sketching the fireplace in our front room.  It feels good to have something to ‘do’ rather than just watch TV.
  3. and… the highlight of my week…a cinema trip – My mum and I are going to have an afternoon out and drive over to the cinema in the next town to see A Streetcat Named Bob.  I read the book whilst I was a daypatient last year, but never managed to see the film.  It’s a story that resonated with me, an animal helping someone to overcome a tough time in their life.  I’m looking forward to a few hours out of the house, away from arguments about food.

Things are tough at the moment, but I am trying to stay positive.  I am sometimes guilty of having very ‘black and white’ thinking.  My life is either perfect or a disaster.  I think sometimes that prevents me from seeing the good things in bad times.  I am slowly learning to accept that my life is not going to turn from terrible to wonderful overnight.  I can make little steps towards making things better, even if as a whole my life is not how I would like it to be right now.



11 thoughts on “A little bit of self-care

  1. Are you a mind reader or just have amazingly good taste? 😏 I have the Ruby Wax 📚 and have just ordered mad girl in that mad session I had on amazon last night (OCD can be used to its full advantage there).

    I am pleased to see you are giving some self-care, doesn’t matter if it’s half an hour a day or every day as long as you do it. On the day unit we were told it is an intrinsic part of recovery and getting to recovery and then staying on that path.

    I take a little bit of strength from seeing someone who is having such a tough time (and we know that tough times don’t last forever, it just feels like they do) because we are both walking a similar path right now. The difference is my anti psychotic drugs haven’t done what my psychiatrist wanted and expected which is to let me sleep! Sleep is part of recovery from any illness, but even more so when it’s a mental illness. It’s good you have been getting decent sleep because it will hopefully allow your brain the space to work things out.

    It is also good you and your mum are going to the cinema, don’t do what I do – I say oh yes we will do that this weekend (with us it is a ride out on the motorbike with me wearing heated gloves, trousers and coat underneath my thermals and my winter bike clothing) and when the weekend comes, you know what happens…

    Your doing your best in a crazy world where you have a lot going on and are making small steps to change your mindset, try not to stress about weight (I get annoyed if I loose and annoyed if I don’t), or meal plans – you can add small things back in with the support you need, my nurse had me start with cheese triangle – I empathise about the meal plan because mine has slid so much and it happened quicker than I realised after the 8 week programme finished, so I honestly can empathise there.

    You are doing better than you give yourself credit, start using your journal to remind yourself you need selfcare and write down some positives from the day – you can go back to it at any moment you need.

    Do you have what we call a self care 📦?

    Let me know how you get on, I have only been reading your blogs a few weeks but I was saying to my partner this morning that it mirrors what I do and it’s been refreshing to find that (as bad as things are for us, I mean that in a positive way because I haven’t met anyone else who I feel drawn to as much as your blog).

    When you feel able to you might want to share your drawings, I can’t draw stick men. Ugh 😑 it’s so annoying because my partner can draw and she will when she feels like it draw what I ask..I have a massive drawing of some little miss and one year for our anniversary she drew me a beautiful picture, she isn’t Picasso but for me it was the love and effort she put into that drawing. 😊❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are definitely in the right mind-set if you take time out of anorexia’s thinking to treat yourself, care for yourself and heal yourself…even if it is only a few minutes a day. Keep it up because it will strengthens your voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, I love everything about this post!! How inspiring! My therapist told me that showing up to appointments is self-care. I never thought of it like that. I thought it was because they’ve become a part of my routine and god knows I hate changing my routine! 😁

    When I’m so exhausted during the day I usually turn to ED behavior to wake me up so to speak. Today I laid down on the couch for 10 minutes instead and feel a wee bit better so yay for self care! 💖

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I also remind myself, many times. You have no idea how many crafts and various things I have to do instead of behavior but the problem is, that in the moment, ED behavior overrides everything. Those things simply never come to mind! I feel like I ought to tattoo them to my forehead or something!! 😛


  4. Maybe I should have taken the time to visit your blog before jumping straight in with my reply to your comment. I am sorry about that. Small steps are definitely the way to achieve big things 🙂 I love the idea of drawing. For me my “thing” is crochet I can spend hours doing that and listening to podcasts. One of my faves right now which addresses body image is Life Unrestricted by Mert Boxler, it is so helpful in my recovery! Amy x


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