Earlier today I came across this post, compiling a list of songs that are uplifting and encouraging when things are tough.
I immediately knew which song I would contribute.
Holocene by Bon Iver (opens in a new tab)
I can feel the pain in my chest. I shake under my skin. Tears well in my eyes. I struggle to keep my breathing even. My pulse is slow. I am exhausted. I want to sleep.
I can’t let myself sleep. I will not wake up. Tonight will be the night that my weakened heart finally gives up.
It is an indescribable feeling of fear and panic.
I feel it every night.
My mum kneels uncomfortably on the floor by my bed, holds my hand, her presence comforting as my mind torments me.
She holds me tight.
And together we listen…
“And at once I knew I was not magnificent
High above the highway aisle
Jagged vacance, thick with ice
And I could see for miles, miles, miles….”