Daily Prompt: Retreat
Christmas is a stressful time when you have an eating disorder. Food is everywhere, and not just at meal times. There is a never ending supply of indulgent food sitting on the table, tormenting you.
“Come, eat me,” the cake whispers as you gaze at it longingly.
“I can’t.” My brain answers for me.
“Why not? What harm can it do?” tease biscuits.
I know treating myself to a biscuit or a slice of cake won’t harm me.
And yet my brain is riddled with anorexia.
If I was to tuck into that dessert with everyone else, an already stressful day would become unmanageable.
So instead, when it all gets too much, and everyone else is enjoying their food, I slip away quietly.
I retreat to my own little haven, my room. I have pretty lights and flickering candles. A cosy blanket and a good book. I curl up, and retreat for a few minutes, a little break for my brain from the relentless noise of anorexia in my head.
My retreat has got me through Christmas.